tod's in jail
he was afraid of holiday checkpoints so we let him ride my mom's tandem bike home. by himself. at 4 am.
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
My philosophy professor just told the class that he is suspicious of dolphins. The stoner in front of me totally gets it. I need to start getting high for this class.
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
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