you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
Why was there a 1000 piece puzzle covered in hot sauce being cooked in the microwave?
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
Well I smoked some weird shit and I think I peed on my phone.
Holy shit, we're married as fuck.
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
Randomize
