i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
Is it sad that I woke up to more "Happy Holidays" texts on 4/20 than I did on Christmas?
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
I just set an alarm for 5 am tomorrow morning titled "Wake and Bake Its Christmas motherfucker"
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
Your mom asked you why you had bite marks all over your arms and you answered her by yelling "I HAD A SIESTA!"
I'm a freaking penguin. one mate for life, and really awkward at parties
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