omg this kid i'm babysitting is making a penis out of playdough ahhhh.
He just rolled me a 'baby penis' as opposed to his 'big boy' penis that he crafted...he just demanded that I roll him a penis.
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
party gras won. party gras always wins.
You refused to get in the cab so we rock paper scissored to decide who walked you home and the fat guy was it. So don't blame your poor hook-up choice on me; it was all you.
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
He showed up in a dinosaur costume bearing a tray of cupcakes. He even let me hold his tail. I'm marrying this guy.
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
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