cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
Apparently married women at the office don't like getting congratulated on getting "knocked up"
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
Good to know: if a hot girls asks to go back to my place, she probably just needs to vomit all over my bathroom
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
We talked him into tasing himself.
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
You kept trying to make people drink "salsa-ritas." But all you did was dump tequila in a half full jar of salsa, and shove it in people's faces while shouting at them.
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
So instead of going to meet her mom, I decided to jump out of her window which was about 1.5 stories off the ground. I'm alright, but I ended up meeting her mom anyway.
Randomize
