I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
Welp, I just herniated a vocal cord during sex. How was your night?
You also spilled beer on my dog and tried to wipe it off with a paper towel but he kept getting away from you.
Also, McDonald's breakfast is now 24/7. This is it. This is how I die. Face first in a pile of hashbrowns.
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