Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
a chick just tried to cover her fart by sneezing. it didn't work
Baconater + red wine = first meal of the day
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
Dude, dont worry about the lamb fetus in the fridge.
What?
Just dont open the beer drawer.
I just found out that the liquid capacity of my breasts is 700ml each. I should not be left alone at home when drunk.
Some chick just tried to plug her vodka into the wall.
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
I still owe him the card with all the sperm paper cutouts falling out like glitter saying " sorry you can't hold your load. Better luck next time "
i need to start buying Plan B in bulk and leaving them at the door. I'm really sick of walking to CVS with my one-nighters
Who would you rather hang with tonight, drunk me or high me?
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
Randomize
