Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
Rooting for you and your team in the Beer Olympics this afternoon...! Love you, Mom
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
I'm sorry I crashed your motorcycle and watched you get robbed from a rooftop. Will you please come back or at least drop off my shoes?
Randomize
