Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
He felt like a one man threesome
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
Even when you're down just know that I will always be the one to pour alcohol into your asshole when you're on probation
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
How did the test come back?
I've never been so happy to have a yeast infection. And i got a free pack of birth control
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