Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
Dude, sorry for live texting you my binge drinking. If you'd like me to do the same for my hangover, I can share that I just had to sit down while q-tipping my ears.
I swear to god, allah, buddah and motherfucking oprah winfrey... if I have to stay here any longer because you are holding us up I will choke you out.
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
Randomize
