God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
When we found you, you were half crying/half singing Taylor swift songs at 2am in the bathroom, and occasionally puking. I think I get "friend of the year" award just for putting up with your drunk ass all night.
Randomize
