Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
GUESS WHAT I JUST LICKED
I feel like half our conversations start this way.
I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
Ran into my prostitute at Costco yesterday. She was with her boyfriend, I was with my kids. Awwwwkward.
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
I love THIS fish, the rest of the ocean can go fuck itself. I am ahab and he is my whale
If you put those two in a room together it'd be like a Taylor Swift fantasy and an Adele nightmare just licking faces
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
OK BUT WHO THE FUCK FORGTS A LIVE CHICKEN IN MY HOUSE
Why the HOLY HELL is my dog on my roof??? Sam?? Why is the dog wearing my pants
Why is there bacon in the couch?
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