Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
I made out with a deaf person. Also I've been drunk 11 days in a row now.
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
He left his own bachelor party to bring me weed. Then smoked with me. Tell me I'm not his favorite-ex-friends-with-benefits.
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a Chick-Fil-A breakfast sandwich. How's your Monday?
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
God... We're terrible. I'm so proud of us.
I know! It makes me feel all warm inside. Or maybe that's just me getting closer to hell.
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