it was almost as awkward as hearing my parents on friday nights in 2 in the morning starting, and than hearing at 2:01 my dad getting up and my mom going "i should have married a man"
I hate myself for saying your mom and I have the same friday nights.
don't worry... so do I
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
And don't try to lose a condom in me tonight. My vagina is not a storage compartment where you can just leave something and try and use it again later in the week.
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF NINTENDO FILLED GLORIOUS ENCHANTING FANTASY LAND ARE YOU IN?! DUDE DID YOU MOVE TO THE 90S?!?!?!
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
Randomize
