Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
is wine microwaveable?
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
All right cuz right now I'm in one of those moods where the shear thought of doing anything more strenuous than making a sandwich has me wanting to curl up in the feeble position and splash around in a puddle of my own tears.
Why was there a 1000 piece puzzle covered in hot sauce being cooked in the microwave?
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
Kid walks in and orders 24 Mcdoubles and 14 large fries, as he's handing me the money he tells me he lost at rock paper scissors so he had to do the munchie run.
Nothing ruins your day more than waking up to you dogs crotch in your face
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