Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
What is this red stuff in a water bottle in my fridge that's labeled "not for baby turtles"?
i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
Do you think they make a "sorry in my drunken debauchery I dropped a pumpkin off the balcony and you happened to be standing right there/get well soon" card?
I just crashed on my couch and have no intention of ever getting up again
I will be over with a bedpan and beer
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
I was trying to remember why my knees hurt then I remembered I was twerking on the countertops.
Randomize
