I just wanna buy a tempur-pedic so i can drink in bed and not spill
I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
2017 is my year to realize stuff. Move over Kylie Jenner
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
Naw dude theres seriously a lobster in my sock drawer. Why?
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