I think my vagina is haunted
I am going to invent a chocolate mix for sperm.
yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
Whenever I don't wipe thoroughly after shitting, I just think that anyone if anyone sticks their finger up my ass, they had it coming.
My dad just came home, said hi to mom and me in the kitchen, and then said "I'm gonna go inject my blood with iguana saliva".
All I wanted to tell you is that I fucked a guy covered in fake blood, who circumcised himself.
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
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