their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
How are you going to pay for strippers in Vegas when you were just begging for McDoubles?
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
THERE IS AN ENORMOUS FAT WOMAN EYEING MY FLIGHT'S GATE LIKE IT WOULD BE DELICIOUS TO EAT.
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
I'm sun burnt so instead of getting drunk and trying to sleep with you, how about we get naked and you scratch my body and rub lotion on me while I rub one out?
lost my vibrator and now I have to masturbate manually. The struggle is fucking real.
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
When I planned out my evening, "co-author lesbian vampire erotica" was not anywhere on my list of expected activities.
Me neither, but hey, this is where we've ended up. Let's embrace the moment.
Randomize
