Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
My dad assaulted a TSA agent this morning. Shut down airport security. Don't tell me that your family is embarrassing.
Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
He wouldn't let me put a red handprint on his face or scream to him everytime he walked away.
Why did you want to do any of that?
If someones last name is Wilson, you are obligated to pretend that you are Tom Hanks and they are a Volleyball and quote the movie when you speak to them.
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
Two big black bouncers picked you up and escorted you to the elevator.
I didn't even do anything wrong. For all they knew I could have been on the US Olympic Gymnastic team. Would they kick Gabby Douglas out of a bar? I don't think so.
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
Randomize
