I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
so my mom thinks I'm picking you up just to go buy you liquor before you go back to school tomorrow...
I'm ashamed that your mom thinks I haven't already taken care of that.
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
TSA found the edibles
Fuck
Oh my god he just. Swiped them for explosives and handed them back to me
God bless California
Randomize
