So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
He was super stoned and then he compared doing meth to having anal sex and told me to "ride that cowboy." The cowboy being my ex.
I'm fucking a man old enough to be my father who is also dating my boss. What have you done with your life?
He'll only communicate through snapchat with pictures of him holding his cat or his dick. Bit of Russian roulette opening them in public but I did it anyway.
It is a fiery spray of napalm-covered beautiful words that leave a flaming "fuck you" on the ground after I destroy him.
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
You were so drunk you told some dude your life story in one short sentence... and kissed his fiancé. You're invited to the wedding.
I'm just letting you know right now in advance that if I die or go to the hospital or end up in jail tonight it's because your kid sold me mushrooms.
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
Randomize
