I'm drive I can fine osifer
you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
I feel bad for the person that has to clean the dishes that I peed on last night.
He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
so it turns out that "condoms galore" does, indeed, come up on your bank statement
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
I can't feel my tongue. And that means go. Green means go. And you know what Barney says. Green means go and woah means no. DRIIIIINKK
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
Randomize
