The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
apparently, "please pick me up from the airport" also means "i got drunk on the flight and need to give you roadhead in broad daylight"
He asked me if I "almost moaned"
And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
1. They have gold fish races every wednesday. 2. They have a redbull vodka slushie. We need to visit this place.
1. My fish will beat your fish. 2. Were getting fucked up
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
Yo, I can't just ask my mom where she relocated my vibrator to, can I?
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
My head feels like Jesus is projectile vomiting hammers on it
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
Randomize
