i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
Hmm. I hear gunshots, car horns blaring, hear drunk white people screaming, and see about fifty status updates pertaining to the hawks. I guess they won.
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
Just successfully made home fries from potatoes we used as bowls while stoned as shit. I deserve a trophy.
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
I just woke up in the closet wearing nothing but a Santa hat.
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
Fursuit judi Dench just stared directly at me for 3 solid minutes telling me that cats arent dogs and i believe her because if i dont cat jason derulo might try to have sex with me
Randomize
