How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
I woke up and peed for 26 seconds this morning. 26 seconds!
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
I'm pretty sure I just crapped out my pancreas. I have 2 of those, right?
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
Why did I wake up to grapes taped my ears ?
Sorry dude, we didn't want you to hear us. Seemed like a good idea at the time.
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
I love when Facebook suggests people I may know. Well, yeah, I know him. He's my drug dealer. Pretty sure I want to keep that relationship strictly professional.
Randomize
