So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
My grandpa just complimented my boobs. Im taking this as a compliment but also brushing it off as alcoholism on his part.
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
I have to be at work in a hour. Can you sufficiently fuck me in 35 minutes?
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
This is getting exciting. I almost wanna turn off all the lights, get some popcorn, and stare at my phone screen to see if she's going to say yes or not
And on a much sadder note, I'm way to drunk for this right now
Randomize
