tfor prom could you pick me up wo bottles of champagne and a condom, please?
She just sent me a txt where every word ended in "zzz", with about a hundred "!!!" and called herself "juicezzz". I need back up.
Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
My roommate was eating ketchup out of a bowl. Get me the hell out of here.
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
In a bar surrounded by couples hooking up. I'm just staring at one. Not drunk enough. Come save me.
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
I just found a samari sword in the couch. I'm about to take like 5 shots and pretend to be captain jack sparrow
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
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