ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
Just got a full body massage. It was uncomfortable at first, but then I realized I let strangers turn off the lights and put their hands all over my naked body 3 times a week anyways.
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
I vaguely remember Matt shouting something about "GET ON MY LEVEL!" at the bartender before he attempted to order a case of tequila from him.
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
I made out with him in the club and he endorsed me on Linkedin. My networking skills are off the charts.
Was it your intent last night to burn the house down? With a waffle..
So the next time I search for "Dragon Dildo" on my phone, I should probably clear the browser before handing my phone to someone and that's the first thing they see haha
QUIT STEALING MY PHONE AND SEXTING MY MOM!!!!
I’m going down on him like an Oompah Loompah on roller skates.
That makes no sense, but good luck
Randomize
