I'm going to jail i love you
Your dad touched me again.
There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
There were firefighters and a fire truck up the street. I asked what was wrong and their exact words were "Just a tiny explosion; it'll be all right"
I know, dude. If he ends up having a tiny dick, I will literally pack it back into his pants and leave. Not worth the aggravation.
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
Randomize
