you told him to eat candy out of your ear instead of your vagina because you had your period. never. drink. AGAIN.
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
See this is why people shouldn't jump into marriage. See what type of drunk you're engaged to first.
She seems less like a roommate, and more like a homeless person who snuck into your apartment.
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
Was it you that ate my bacon or do I have to rip my roommate's face off?
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
Randomize
