How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
I woke up to a bunch of college seniors jacking off a horse in my face. Geuss who didnt move in time?
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
Bro, she said my penis was the best thing to happen to her mouth since teeth.
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
Being able to fart in my own house is like 90% of why I pay rent
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
She looked like a cross between Jesus and John Lennon. So I fucked her. I feel majestic and powerful.
Randomize
