I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
I woke up (not at home) to find out I kissed Ryan Caberra, flashed for free gumbys and carried around an inflatable moose named Johnson. Great success.
saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
today's thought: if you're naming your fb album "wEdDiNg dAy!!!!!!" you're too young to get married
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
You know, be my cock's hype man.
So squirting runs in the family.
she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.
I was always good at matching as a child.
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
Had to. She was getting married in 2 days & her vag was having a close out sale. You know I love a good bargain.
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
Dude, seriously, fucking stop introducing me as "Thomas, with the dick piercing." you are the worst wingman ever.
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
Randomize
