found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
I still can't believe I found a dildo in my ceiling today.
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
Regardless of your intentions, deep throating a Twinkie is NOT sexy. You owe that poor cashier an apology the next time you pump gas.
We knew it was an interesting night when we found my thong wrapped around a chocolate chip muffin in the fridge.
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
Randomize
