just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
You stole my crutches last night at the bar, the DJ had to ask for them to be returned
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
I was chasing pulls of fireball with bites of a bagel and yelling at people to take tequila shots with me. I shouldn't be allowed to go out alone.
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
that is very illegal...i love you.
Randomize
