So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
See, the Lortab wasn't working enough, so I thought "hey, vodka can speed that up! That's how science works!" Which probably should've been my indication that the Lortab was in fact working
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
I can't trust your balls anymore.
Drunk you needs to learn how to call sober me, so sober me can talk your drunk vagina down.
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
you scattered cereal all over the floor so you could "re-trace your steps and figure out what happened." 20 min later you yelled about the mess and let the dog in to clean it up. 5 min after that you screamed since the cereal was gone. you suspected me and locked me in the bathroom so i could "think about what i'd done"
and you bit everyone who tried to let me out. no more tequila for you. EVER.
Randomize
