Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
As your boss, I feel obligated to tell you that turning our management meeting into a kegger may just be the best idea you've given me yet.
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
I'm starting to think I didn't bring enough liquor for this family Christmas.
It's 2 pm....
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
Can cross "get fingered at a state park" off my bucket list
"Only you can prevent yeast infections."
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
He dropped some cash when he got in my front seat upside down. And a hat. I'm keeping them as retribution for not remembering that he had sex with me once before. Although, if he didn't have his dick pierced, I wouldn't have remembered either.
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
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