i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
Have thirty minutes until my shift starts. My heart says liquor store but my future says no
I just got this text "hi this is Julie, I met you last night in the bathroom. You asked me to text you and remind you that you ate an entire lime, because you figured your sober self in the morning would be confused."
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
I left my red butterfly dildo laying on my bedroom floor this morning....my landlord is currently showing the house to people. Fuck can't ever face him again.
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