no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
she said your name and I thought she was asking me to motorboat her. Best. Miscommunication.Ever.
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
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