Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
Randomize
