I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever
im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
i take my contacts out every time we fuck so i cant see all the stretch marks
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
Wearing Navy dress whites to a wedding is like having a magical panty removing device. I've never cockblocked a whole room just by existing before.
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
Randomize
