You're a womanizer and a bitch.
I just poured my flask into a drink. Then I realized the drink belonged to the guy next to me so I stole it from him. He confronted me and I made out with him to distract him. When I looked up, I realized his wife was watching. Its barely 10:00.
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
Going to bed. I have to wake up early and teach small children. And then have affairs with their fathers. I'm going to get deported.
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
It looks like a tornado ripped through our living room and scattered clothes everywhere.
Count the bras. It was a category 3 whorenado ... I convinced the lesbians to come back to the apartment for a bottle of wine.
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
I'll never forget how blunt of a wingman you were. "Excuse me, my friend wants to makeout with someone"
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
Randomize
