you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
i just overheard someone saying that they invented the 'tequila mockingbird' last night. sorry, but i found better friends
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
I think I might be drunk enough to cut my own hair
In two unrelated events today I have had frostbite on my toe and cum up my nose. Who says life stops when you get married?
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
Randomize
