Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
God, you're amazing. I just want to hang out with you in the nude and watch Monty Python movies whilst we quip about how comedians just aren't as funny anymore.
Credit for originality. Points off for a mild to moderate creepy factor.
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
I DONT KNOW HOW I'M NOT DEAD, JESUS CHRIST ON A DOUBLE DECKER FUCKING KEANU REEVES BUS
Randomize
