i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
your ex girlfriend just barged in my house, drunk, mumbled something about "car strip", and put a huge hole in my drywall with her head.
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
Really stoned me is having a very serious, intent conversation with my mom about egg rolls and koolaid flavors.
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
Got electrocuted a second ago, is it weird that I have a boner?
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
Randomize
