WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
The lady sitting right behind me on the bus has baby birds in her purse. Shes feeding them bugs from a cup with a pair of tweezers... I love san francisco!
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
Like your dick isn't Beyoncé, it doesn't get close ups
I'm not gonna swipe right, he has better hair than me. Just no.
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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