my dad just told me that a lesbian kissed my mom at a bar last year
I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
Woke up to pictures of me cooking wings with a blow torch.
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
I had to show the prof your text saying that I could pick up your midterm for you. I covered the part of the screen saying you weren't there because you were about to have morning choke sex.
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
I’ve gotta be honest, I didn’t expect to have sex. I didn’t shave... anything. You couldn’t have been impressed.
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