If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
I would like to remind you that Mike's hard lemonade only goes good with an extra light cigarette and seminal fluid.
I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
Just found custom condoms. Guess I'm not getting any work done today.
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
How was my weekend? I just blew my nose and a gram of coke fell out. My weekend was fantastic.
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
I can't trust your balls anymore.
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
I just said "you do you" to my penis.
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
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