I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
You kept making up "snapple facts" every time you opened a beer.
Fourth time I had to be woken up in the line of Whataburger in two weeks. First time my shirt was free of vomit.
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"
I feel so bad for your roommate
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
I watch one musical on Netflix, and the "Suggested for you" section is literally almost the entire gay movie category. I feel profiled, and netflixs' accuracy about my sexuality is both impressive and offensive.
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
Randomize
