So I went into my gym pretty wasted and asked the trainer guy if i could order a cock meat sandwich. Needless to say, I'm canceling my membership tomorrow.
theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
im just gonna lie here and collect money in this whoppers bag while sprawled out on this bench and explain that its to buy weed for my hangover
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
I IMAGINED YOU YELLING SURPRISE WITH JAZZ HANDS. AND I LOVE YOU FOREVER
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
To me, you're the Patron Saint of good music and handjobs
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
My mom found me this morning passed out, face down on my dinning room floor
That must have been one awkward situation haha
Well I woke up in my bed.... I don't remember her finding me
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
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