My grandmass entire neighborhood is over for dessert and i'm high as fuck...about to make a couple of freshman boys real uncomfortable
Freshman in high school? Just your type
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
now that you've tased me I refuse to buy you flowers
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
I woke up in my living room, on the floor, wearing nothing but a fur coat?
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
Also I'm at the pub and there are old lady pirates gyrating on a pole. I wish you were here.
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
Randomize
