I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
I am scared. I picture you doing a keg stand on a sinking ship with hula girls cheering you on. Please text me when you get back to shore...or now would be good
i just had to wipe vomit off my fone to text you. yeah that hungover.
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
No, it wasn't really a sexy 'I'm going to go masturbate.' It was an 'I'm going to go masturbate' that implied I was going to drink a tall boy of Mikes and cry while I looked at lesbian porn.
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
So, looks like I managed to leave my bra in the boardroom after all the sex. FML.
Last night this creepy guy asked me my name and I told him it was Jaundice and he called me that all night
"Offered to eat Froot Loops out of my belly button" drunk. Thats how drunk.
Randomize
